Lucas Di Pascuale

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Text for the book
Treinta ejercicios de memoria a treinta años del golpe
Buenos Aires: Eudeba.

 


Costa Rica

In the photo, although I’m not there, I was 10 years old. In fact I looked for other photo in which I am with my brothers and my mother. I looked for a photo in which my father is absent but I can’t find it. I come across this one, instead, which was taken the same year as the other one, where my father appears seated in a Jeep.  
 
He was in Costa Rica and I had sent him a letter in which I told him through a drawing the last save of Pato Fillol and I also asked him when he would send us tickets to visit him. And this photo I find is the reply to that letter or maybe a part of it.
 
I had recently drawn a very similar Jeep for the cover of Psicoanálisis magazine, Freud is driving it and is together with Lacan, Pichon Rivière and Melanie Klein. My father, instead, is alone in that Jeep which may have been rented to go to a far beach or simply may have been borrowed for the photo.
 
I wonder why I asked my father for tickets to go to visit him, I wonder why I wrote that letter. Maybe at my mother’s request. I wonder why, if my father was an absent figure seated in that Jeep or seated at the kitchen table in our house; absent at least, in the sense of what a child needs as father.
 
But nobody took my father away, nobody came home at night breaking everything and stealing, he was neither taken away wearing a hood nor tortured. Nobody asked about him going around the square. My father, Diego Jorge Di Pascuale decided not to be present, he was individually responsible for his absence. The government of our country had nothing to do with this, we Argentinians are not responsible for the fact that he had been seated in that Jeep or at the table of a bar.
 
In other images that come to my mind, my father is wearing dark glasses and a thick moustache and pretending to be a military man at a military checkpoint, then he is treated as a superior and they let us continue our journey without checking the car. I also remember my father talking about the crazy old ladies of the Plaza de Mayo or trying to sell some posters with the face of San Martín at the beginning of the Malvinas War (the Falklands War) to the military men of Córdoba.

I remember him, in my last year of secondary school, telling me to stop engaging in politics because I would end up in a common grave, the same as all that bunch of jerk subversives. I also remember my astonishment at seeing him in a march during Easter in 1987 in which we repudiated the coop uprising.

Lucas Di Pascuale